Let's Start afresh . ^^

Last week for 3 days , sa pegi tuaran ne , Tkwndo tournament . :) lamaa sgt da teda ikut kejohanan , so memang penaatt sangat2 la , tapi enjoy la juga , bole jumpa sama geng2 tkwndo lain dari tempat2 lain . i miss them already . Cuma kali ne sa p kjohanan , aihh ada awkward sket la jga , sbab ehem someone pn ikut jga kan . Spanjang tournament ne kena sakatttt saja bh , eey apa ne . Almost a year ready bh since our breakup tu. Hrap dia ndak mara saja laa , gpun kita skang ne kawan2 saja punn . From this tournament, though all the feelings bloomed again , haha eh masii sangkut masii sayang rupanya , tp nda la ba jga mw hrap apa2 , for me it's better like this .

It's best that i focus on who's by my side now . Though far sangat dari dia tu , dduk saaaana terengganu keja . Tapi ok la, cousin jauh jgak so family mmang knal mmang ok. Nda sangka juga kan, family dari dulu hanya skadar main2 kc pasang2 both of us , lama2 bbtul jd together . We started chatting 2 weeks ago , honestly i really don't know much about him and the same goes to him , kenal skadar kenal gtu jak . Chat pun jarang2 sbab dia keja da ne . But we made a promise , so i'll try my best keeping it . Rasa b'salah la juga coz i janji sama dia even when i haven't gotten over my previous , hermmm cuma takut sejarah berulang cam dulu lg kan , insecurities . I like him, but is it really love , is our feeling mutual , itu yg slalu jd persoalan dia . But then if we were to talk about marriage or a stable relationship, love is not the main matter, mutual respect is , so sa follow the flow of our relationship saja ne . Our relationship takat ne okayy la , masi awkward la sama dia ahahaa . He's 6 years older but i don't mind at all , sbab sa kan sukaa llaki matang haha . He may not be perfect , he may not have all the qualities i like , but i'll try my best . (p/s : this guy i'm talking bout, he's my first love. :) )

Eh bila cakap org ne ikut taekwndo jga tau. Ahahaa come to think of it, all the guys i've been with are all involve in taekwon-do, coincidence ?

I've gotten over my first in a short time because he hurt me too much , but this time it's different . It hurts to say this but i'm not over you yet , I still miss you , I still love you . I just hope that time will help me let all the feelings pass , supayaa i can properly , love only one .

Dear first love, i hope you trust me k .
May God bless you, our family, my ex and to everyone else i adore.
^^

Pictures to Share .

T'kejut ? 2 post in one day ? ahaa . Post yang ini tujuan dia maw share gambar2 ngan kawan2 kat sekolah . Huu actually baru t’jumpa ne kat laptop padahal ari tuu da bilang sama kawan2 nak upload . Banyak ne , tapi saya share yang terbaik , tercantik and tercumil sajaa . hee .

Okay ne 4 orang ne classmate sya yg ambik sains tulen smuanyaa . Darii kiri , dodi sidah wani and the only guy, ah chong

Experiment hari tuu , pasal tanah2 , ph2 . :)

cikgu da chaww , makaaa ~

sebab comel sangat2 maka upload la . hee

pastu da kusyuk main game kat laptop sa . :3

then came the boys

pastu smua mula main ne game sama2 , notice that I'm there as well , nda pasti la sapa tukang gambar ne .

dtg lagi sorg , hee .

nak tauu apa yang kami main sampai b'brapa kali kena gmabar pn nda sedar ? jeng jengg jeennnnggg

haa ne diaa , Stray Souls Dollhouse . Best jugak la kalau main ramai2 ne . hee .

 Okayy gambar berikutnyaa ne d'ambil on a different day , malas nak bagi caption satu2 da . :3
orang dlm gambar ne pun classmate saya juga , yang ambi sains sukan nyaa . :)

at the lab . . .

 

 

 

 

masing- masing ada stylee ar .

So , tuu dia classmate2 saya . saaayang dorang ketat-ketat . ^ ^

Korea Addiction Muchh ?

           Okayy2 masuk bulan Oktober suda , nda lama abis suda tahun 2013 , Cepatnyaa masa berlalu , ndada terasa ne , hee . Lama tak update blog , so bulan ne sekurang2nya ada la maw tambah satu post . ^ ^

Banyak stress ne bila suda dekat masa2 exam . To be exact 18 days to go , fuhh cakap saja tinggal bbrapa hari saja lg , panic la juga , enda lama lagi tu , da tuu semester ini saya ambil 8 paper . cukup ka study slama ne ? hee , meeeemaanng enda , tapi akan d’usahakan . Dekat2 bulan exam ne , memang angin saya cepat berubah , lain smacam , hee but atas recommendation seseorang kawan ne , ada suda pengubat dia ~~ 

Okay so bila saya stress ? tengok running man . Bila sakit hati ? tengoook running man . Bila sedih ? Jawabnyaaa tengok running man la juga . Hahaa , serious tida kira mood yg macam mna buruk pun , tengok jak running man pengubat hati . Speaking of self experience ba , hee . Laughter is the best medicine  ~ :D

Dulu jujur honest saya tida juga minat sangat tida juga t’gerak hati bila kat facebook melambak post pasal korea2 terutamanya running man . Hha sekali ada satu hari ne ada satu kawan kat sekolah ne pasang satu epsiod running man , ngam2 big bang lagi tuu . Waa trus kiranya jatuh cinta la jugak . Best dan lawakk gilerr , hha , pastu rajin2 suda saya meminta sama org wayang2 movie2 and variety show ne . Ah kira maw full da la laptop ne ngan wayang2 segala , semuanya d’stok simpan , sampai abis suda exam , huahaha barulaa ada movie marathon nee . sekarang ne kumpul2 dulu . ^ ^

Next week ada interbiu spa ,  which makes it my very first interview  , nervous tu nervous jugala sebab kawan2 sumua cakap tough sesi interviewing dia . Tapi takpala , pigi saja , kalaw tida dapat pun at least saya dapat pengalaman interviewing . Saya dapat tawaran Pembantu perubatan , juruteknologi . best ka tuu ? takat ne sya cuma tau keja dia behind the scenes , kat makmal kaji2 segala darah , kuman , urine and segala2 yang berkaitan . Kali la best kan , so I’ll do my best .

Blogging kejap ja ne , maw study lagi ne , that is after berfacebooking kejap la . hee . Oritee tuu ja tuk post ari ne ~
Goodnight ~~ moga mimpi indah2 malam ne , hee . ^ ^
God Bless .

Savoring all the Time that's Left

When was my last post again ? huaa almost 2 months ago . Final exams is coming up, pastuu abis laa suda masa saya kat skola ne, holding the title of a pre-university student.

Hardly I had the time to go online, broadband teda wifi pun teda, huu . Tapi takpala, nda jga buruk effect dia teda line ne, at least books were read and studied when there's nothing to do. Thinking back how much I've been through here in school, then realizing that there's only three months left of school. Erm memang la sdih , kena b'pisah da dengan kawan-kawan sini. Honestly there were plenty of delicious memory here, though it's only half and a year, but the new friends I met here are seriously daebak ! ^^ I'm hoping that the three months time we have left would be cherished as my time here is truly a magnificent experience. :)

What's next, ah this is something that's been troubling me lately - my knee. What's wrong with it ? hmm can't answer that cause even I'm not sure what's the problem. Lately I find it really difficult to walk, run, go up and down the stairs and such, especially on cold weathers, and because of this , I am to quit taekwon-do. Argh it's frustrating cause it's only weeks away sebelum kjohanan kebangsaan kat sibu ne . Aduii , sebelum ne pun da training penat-penat sampai tak cukup tidur tak cukup study, skarang t'tiba kena tarik diri , kecewa la sangat-sangat . I don't know how long , but for the time being , saya tak boleh join any taekwon-do classes anymore , this is another thing , I don't wanna quit so I'm hoping my knee would get better , FAST .

Okayy , erm nada pa-pa da yg nak d'crita buat masa skarang ne , study lu , hee ~
Alohaa and mahalo . :)

A New Semester , New Challenges .

Huu akhirnyaa siap juga , jeng jeng jennggg ~
my second blog . ^ ^

Funny right for someone who's not an active blogger creating a second blog,
story made short , my second blog is all about my studies .
What I learn, what I did in school, educational punya la senang cakap .
This blog, well kawan bilang utk b'jiwang-jiwang saja kann , :P
My second blog, http://michaalynn.blogspot.com/

It's almost 2 months since the third semester started ,
hrmm , nda lama habis da STPM ne , kadang2 tngk kawan2 yang dulu sekelas kini merata2
da masuk U . Nak kata tidak jeles memang tipu laa , haha , siapa tidak kan , tapi takpaa ,
sabar saja , law family da kata ini yang terbaik untuk saya, saya kena terima juga kan .
Sekurang-kurangnya bila da habis STP ne , dapat da Diploma kan , masuk U bole terus ambil Ijazah , hee .
Everything happens for a reason .

Result semester 1 dan 2 ne , memang sangat aduii kecewa .
tapi nasib la sekarang ne STP da ikut sistem baru , sem by sem , plus bole mengulang , yayy ~
so saya akan mengulang some subjects , in total this semester I'm taking 8 papers .
banyak kan , hrmm stress juga sebab kena study subject2 yang power ne .
tambah lagi ngan aktivti taekwon-do ne , bulan Ogos ne ada kejohanan , pastu bulan Oktober lagi ,
tapi harap2 la saya t'pilih kan , law tidak , kan ka sia2 saja training abis2 sampai sakit sini sakit situ, kepenatan sampai tidur kat skola selalu . Hee , however sekarang ne saya masi okayy lagi , bole angkat lagi study sebelah pagi then training sebelah malam ne . Saya da besar . ^ ^

Tadi , auntie saya datang rumah , bukan untuk visit2 tapi utk m'bersihkan altar , sambil-sambil tu dia tanya saya sap p'kembangan kat skola ne . Awal-awal tu ok laa , tapi pastu auntie sebut sap kazen yang seumur saya ne sekarang da masuk U kat Sarawak , ambil chemical engineering . Irony isn't it , b'coz that's the course I wanted to take If I were to manage into university . Mumy kata auntie sebut tuu sebab nak kasi dengki saya saja tu , though saya diam ja tika tu , tapi hakikatnyaa , memang saya terasa sgt , seperti d'rendah-rendahkan d'banding-bandingkan berada d form 6 ne . So I've think this through , there's only one way to prove them wrong , saya kan usaha la dapatkan pointer tinggi2 , memang bukan senang sebab perghh STP ba yang kita cakap ne , exam ketiga tersusah di dunia , so as they said . Kat kuliah belajar tahap dia macam ABC , mudah paham seperti Do Re Mi , tapi kenapa laa soalan exam diaa ini kannn . Ermm what to do , keep moving forward jelaa . Haha , yang penting hidup saya amann .


Okayy setakat tu ja untuk ari ne ,
Arigatouu and God Bless .

The Clouds are Gone

A very good evening ~ ^^
It's been ages since my last post . Malas suda maw update la katakan , hee . Plus there's lots of assignment and project work this second term .

Okay so kali ne nak cer sal benda yang just lately happened la ek .

Not quite sure where to start , but let's just go to a few matters that made me 'down' lately.
Expectations , again !
Malas ditegur , rajin pun ditegur . macam mna tu ? -,-
Stress tahu tak , stress sangat2 . Da tu mulut ringan saja cakap benda yang aduii sakitnyaa hati bila terkenangkan balik .

I would really like to stress out here that I am very SENSITIVE , seriously bro this ain't a joke , even with the slightest misspoke words , attitude or what so ever , I get offended . But hey though I'm fragile , I don't show 'em , I don't tell . You can't always appear weak , plus I'm better off keeping it to myself . Then again , there are days where I couldn't take it , there are days where I desperately need to let things out , problem is there's no one who I trust enough , who knows me enough to understand what I'm going through .

At this point , always automatically his face (my ex) pops out in my head , I still remember the days when he was the only place I could rely on , my faithful listener . Speaking bout ex , I had a fight with him lately , wait hrm not really a fight , more to a misunderstanding . But I don't mind , I never did enjoy and take pleasure every time he texts and calls , cakap rindu-rindu segala . It wasn't pleasant b'coz at the moment he was already taken . Okay I didn't like it , problem is no matter how hard I try to act cold towards him , ignore him , telling him off . He never did stop , until one day , a friend of mine help me out by replying to his text using my num and told him off . It pissed him off alright , till this very day not a single text from him . Problem solved , though I do feel bad (but I apologized) .

Pressure came attacking from all corners , physically I smile but inside I swear it hurts . And honestly there's at some point , I really did felt like giving up , almost I gave up on school . *sighs*

But thanks to this very same friend , I felt better . To put it to words is quite hard for me to explain how I feel , I mean of all my friends , he was the only one to notice and actually bothers to find out what's been troubling me . Yes of course my close friends notices as well , but didn't actually bother to know why . I must admit , I'm touched . He said things that made me feel like he's in someway reliable . Funny thing is though he fits as a perfect listener , I just couldn't find my way to open up , probably because we don't know each other well enough , or probably the fact that he was taken . I could only manage to tell him a little , and so did him (some of his story) , this I'm supprised . Honestly , I was really comfortable with his presence at the moment , and I'm thankful for that . It's too often that people underestimate the power of words , a touch and a pair of listening ears . After that day , everything kinda lightens up , dan saya kembali jadi bising , haha .

Second term exam is a month away , I'm trying to struggle in my studies , maksudnya saya tengah usaha untuk kasi berabis belajar ne , buang perangai malas-malas , perangai kuat mengelamun dan macam2 lagi la . -,- Taknak lagi ba ada paper yang perlu d'ulang ne . First term is already enough .

Guess that's just about it , goodnight ~
God bless my family , friends and everyone around me . ^^
Though many of these people yang saya sayang sakitkan hati saya , saya masi sayang .

When Expectations Goes Too Far

Honestly , I don't even know how to start . Story made short , we broke up two days ago (13th February) . How do I feel ? Sesungguhnya , saya kecewa sangat-sangat . Huu , tapi besala , breakup mana yg tdak mengecewakan kan . Saya nak nangis pun hm tidak juga terkeluar air mata saya macam empangan pecah dalam drama-drama tu , ada pun kejap ja , pastu jadi moody smacam .

At school , I tried to forget bout the heartbreak , tried to act cool la katakan . Tapi ntala , mangkali nampak sangat lain dia di mata kawan saya , hm but the more they ask 'what's wrong ?' , the harder it gets for me to hold my tears . Dalam dua ari ne , adala masa dia saya ternangis kat skola , in front of my friends . Awu tah , sakitnyaa hati , taip sampai sini saja pun da mula rasa sebak .

Andai benar dia dah tidak punya perasaan sayang itu , jadi napa dulu beriya sangat bawa kapel , bagi semua janji-janji manis tu . Hm , law tak sayang kan bagus berterus terang dari awal . It would save me a lot from all these tears and heartbreaks . For almost two months i waited , sabar dengan perubahan dia yang t'tiba dingin semacam , jujurnya saya selalu menunggu , always I wait for his text , everynight . Kamu , ne cam ada dejavuu ja sama ex saya dulu , I always end up crying myself to bed , tapi kamu tak tahu kan . Tiap kali saya text , jarang kamu reply , bila reply mesti kata busy , tapi facebook sentiasa b'update , saya diam menahan hati , diam-diam saya menangis , ini pun kamu tidak tahu kan . Hm . Do you even have the slightest idea of how much you'd hurt me ? Even your breakup line is painful to read .

But saying all this , I'm not saying that this is all your wrongs , in a relationship , especially a failed one , both have their mistakes . I admit I expect a little too much from this relationship . Kita pisah , jujurnya saya tak benci , saya tak salahkan kamu . Hm , biarla kita pisah cara baik , takda gaduh-gaduh , takda perasaan membenci itu .

There's only this one problem , difficulties in letting go . I said I cried at school , that's because I was reminded of him , all the nice things he'd done , all the sweet things he said , and all of that promises . Hmm , kawan kata kena ubah perasaan sayang itu jadi benci baru senang nak lupakan , tapi serius , saya tak dapat la . Saya sayang dia , mungkin da tak s'dalam dulu , tapi saya masi sayang .

I could only hope I could get back on track soon enough , I know it may take a while to understand the true beauty of just letting go . Tuhan tolong jagakan dia yang kini nun jauh di sana , moga kesihatan dan pelajaran dia terpelihara . I'm thankful for all the memories , the sweet ones may be the reason for my tears today but in the future I'll be smiling because of 'em , the bad ones , well that's what makes me stronger , just gonna take it all in .

Cukup sampai sini la rasanya , there's a one in a hundred chance that you'll read this post , so when you do , I hope you understand what I'm feeling inside , saya nak kamu tahu saya da tak mengharapkan apa-apa daripada kamu , da ketara sangat kita ne teda chemistry kan . :' )
K baiklah , goodnight , God bless .

Chinese New Year

Gong Xi , Happy Chinese New Year ~ :)

First day today , my house was seriously crowded , he . Yes open-house were held , but visitors coming were decreasing by the year . Hm , what's most disappointing , the chinese tradition to have a family reunion dinner on chinese new year eve , didn't happened this year . Jujurnya , saya terkejut sangat bila mumy share khabar yang popo sama family cousin saya yang satu ini tidak kan datang dinner sama-sama tu . Dorang cadang masing-masing sahaja makan . Hm , sedih sangat . Previous years weren't like this , we all gathered together , dine together . I'm really curious about this drastic change .

This morning , i was hoping they would come , because even though they didn't come for dinner together last night , they should at least come on the big day right . Tapi , sekali lagi saya kecewa , they didn't show up . *sighs*

Hm , tapi takpala , mangkali ada yang menjadi halangan . I could only hope that this won't happen again next year .

I present you , my lovely family . My parents plus my two brothers . (picture taken this morning) :)
My dad , we don't talk often , we basically only talk about work and school and other serious topics .
My mum , always over protective , over sensitive , kadang-kadang mulut memang power gila laser .
My two brothers , we play , we argue , we fight , we joke around , we did almost everything what normal siblings usually does . But , i love them just the way they are , saya sayang insan-insan ini sangat-sangat , ketat-ketat . May we will always stick as one perfect family . Amen . :)

Alright that's a wrap . Goodnight and Sweetdreams . God Bless the Believers . :)

Not so Sugar-Sweet after all

Who would have thought that this 'dream boy' I've been waiting for would actually be the reason of all the tears shed . Yes I'm smiling , but inside i swear it's killing me . I remember back then where we used to talk just about anything anytime , hmm i really miss him , the old him . "People change , feelings fade. " :')

Chinese New Year is a week away , serius sakit satu badan la weii , cleaning the house dua orang saja sama mumy .  hm tapi takpala , esok gonna self-reward myself , tomorrow nak p kk shopping . hee , new cloths , new shoes , hee excited sua ne . Ah and also new hair , he . Kelmarin da p curl then dye g , merah ba , luckily Pre-U students ne ada longgar sket rules dia . he .

Baiklah , kali ne sampai sini jela , exhausted da . Bengkel kepimpinan at school tadi dari pagi sampai petang , petang blik ruma sambung lagi kemas rumah , sapu ne sapu tu , buang ini simpan itu , total house make-over la katakan . Oya surprisingly my mom told me she could managed the whole house herself when I was still a toddler , kagum jugala , saya ne , ada lagi malas-malas buat kerja .*deep sigh* , homework pun suda dibiarkan melambak , my study tuk minggu ne bbtul da terabai gara-gara mau kasi bersih rumah ne . *another deep sigh*

Alright , Goodnight . Sleep tight and Sweet dreams , dear sana take care , jangan sbab saya da lama tak text trus lupakan sya , he . bbaik study .




God protect all the people I love , bless the people who never stop believing . <3