A very good evening ~ ^^
It's been ages since my last post . Malas suda maw update la katakan , hee . Plus there's lots of assignment and project work this second term .
Okay so kali ne nak cer sal benda yang just lately happened la ek .
Not quite sure where to start , but let's just go to a few matters that made me 'down' lately.
Expectations , again !
Malas ditegur , rajin pun ditegur . macam mna tu ? -,-
Stress tahu tak , stress sangat2 . Da tu mulut ringan saja cakap benda yang aduii sakitnyaa hati bila terkenangkan balik .
I would really like to stress out here that I am very SENSITIVE , seriously bro this ain't a joke , even with the slightest misspoke words , attitude or what so ever , I get offended . But hey though I'm fragile , I don't show 'em , I don't tell . You can't always appear weak , plus I'm better off keeping it to myself . Then again , there are days where I couldn't take it , there are days where I desperately need to let things out , problem is there's no one who I trust enough , who knows me enough to understand what I'm going through .
At this point , always automatically his face (my ex) pops out in my head , I still remember the days when he was the only place I could rely on , my faithful listener . Speaking bout ex , I had a fight with him lately , wait hrm not really a fight , more to a misunderstanding . But I don't mind , I never did enjoy and take pleasure every time he texts and calls , cakap rindu-rindu segala . It wasn't pleasant b'coz at the moment he was already taken . Okay I didn't like it , problem is no matter how hard I try to act cold towards him , ignore him , telling him off . He never did stop , until one day , a friend of mine help me out by replying to his text using my num and told him off . It pissed him off alright , till this very day not a single text from him . Problem solved , though I do feel bad (but I apologized) .
Pressure came attacking from all corners , physically I smile but inside I swear it hurts . And honestly there's at some point , I really did felt like giving up , almost I gave up on school . *sighs*
But thanks to this very same friend , I felt better . To put it to words is quite hard for me to explain how I feel , I mean of all my friends , he was the only one to notice and actually bothers to find out what's been troubling me . Yes of course my close friends notices as well , but didn't actually bother to know why . I must admit , I'm touched . He said things that made me feel like he's in someway reliable . Funny thing is though he fits as a perfect listener , I just couldn't find my way to open up , probably because we don't know each other well enough , or probably the fact that he was taken . I could only manage to tell him a little , and so did him (some of his story) , this I'm supprised . Honestly , I was really comfortable with his presence at the moment , and I'm thankful for that . It's too often that people underestimate the power of words , a touch and a pair of listening ears . After that day , everything kinda lightens up , dan saya kembali jadi bising , haha .
Second term exam is a month away , I'm trying to struggle in my studies , maksudnya saya tengah usaha untuk kasi berabis belajar ne , buang perangai malas-malas , perangai kuat mengelamun dan macam2 lagi la . -,- Taknak lagi ba ada paper yang perlu d'ulang ne . First term is already enough .
Guess that's just about it , goodnight ~
God bless my family , friends and everyone around me . ^^
Though many of these people yang saya sayang sakitkan hati saya , saya masi sayang .
